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Probably 95% of my life since I began leaving “youth” behind was, and is, in reality senseless if the deeper accounts of self knowledge in the entelechy, the scintilla, the Zoroastrian daena, are not in some reality true, actual.

Recognizing so belatedly that most do not want, and perhaps are not able, to go “above the tree line” of common experiences, ideas, opinions, emotions, social ways.

Each day I wake up to find those around me still asleep.

How to study the unconscious patterns by which most around live. Intellectual, emotional, social.

The ignorance of, abstraction from and detachment from the History in which we all live by most of those I ever encounter allows not only no confrontation, but no affirmation of an inner world of realistic study. In other words, what is the purpose –and daily life inner experience – of an effort at bright light amidst those who unawares are content to live, “to be”, in a fog?

The emotions, positions and thoughts of persons defined by groups.

Are they in fact not rather small persons, enlivened by their sides in impassioning arguments of opposing groups… Group emotions, group positions. And by themselves? Are they not in reality little people.

Each time from the real “hustle and bustle” of the streets of Rome I entered the right-hand door of a Roman church the Meaning inside their solemn silences became louder and more insistent: Nothing of the life outside those doors has any meaning – Jesus died for your sins is the Sole Fact of History.

Strange, but true: I must attempt to more fully extract myself from a five-decades old sense of urgency in relation to the passing of time in History, Politics, Society, and – recognizing my irrelevance – relate myself more to the unpredictable amount of time that my body will allow me yet to be.

Probably more than 95% of the scores of scholars I have contacted over the years in regards to their studies have clearly thought about them professionally and personally sub specie academiae. Deeper than professional, academic career involvement is very rare. From my view revealing a common shared intellectuals sleep.

I repeat myself, but I am con/afronted by the same facts regularly.

“quiet desperation” (HDT’)

“active distraction” (SLL)