Rome, Day 21

Again — if more strongly in the touristless churches — the abrupt disjunction between the life outside the church and the solemn silence inside. If more solitarily after Luther, more deeply uncertain “after Nietzsche”, the deepest questions of Mankind and Meaning are present(ef) in the elaborated embodied Meaning of Catholic Belief — in these structures of enmeaninged, “elevated” matter via art. Most surely are not clear on the contrasts and experience. Probably even of the deep disjunction. Some seem to experience the life of the streets, of the world outside, as mean passage to the inner sanctuary embodied eor instance where I now sit — Church of the Holy Trinity* of Pellegrini. Others surely come by custom and hope; some with deep need. Others enter curious, like in an unfamiliar museum of Meaning: a serious solemn… but (e)strange(d?) Meaning. From eg Luther to Nietzsche (also but more lightly in eg Emerson) not the Fall of Adam and Eve but the Fall of Meaning… Should most “Thank** God” they don’t notice, know this, think** this?

*If any aspect of theology calls up problems in those who don’t unquestioningly believe, “The Trinity” is one the serious problematic elements of doctrine, of belief.

** “thank you” comes from “think you”.

And if there is no Patertheos? What meaning has the man on the cross? And if this great Meaning of (Hi)Story has become unbelievable or irrelevant to Life and World. Wherein and whenin Life and World, but not god, are capitalizable for Meaning? From Moses to Camus, et al?

This all mostly off the tourist guides narrations, and most worldly Grand Tourists as well. I come with deeper needs and troubles, from loss of naive belief… A plane crash entailing theodicy… A 60’s “pagan pluralistic revival” destroying accepted, inherited belief…

When, after trying the door to the toilet, the person also knocked on the door, I predicted that s/he would be waiting in the soace with the sink inarguably for maximum one person. He was, and he had a backpack on as well. He had to squeeze in by me. Is it too much to expect that he be conscious of how that would occur?

If one is not much worried about sin, why be a Christian? As I walk the Corso from Casa di Goethe in Rome it occurs to me that Goethe certainly wasn’t.

It seems that Friedrich Nietzsche came to Rome no reason unbeliever, but as a active disbeliever. I allow myself to believe I am deeper than that. But then, I have been to Mount Sinai, and stayed a month on the Mount of Olives, so perhaps I have different problems — and questions– from Nietzsche, or Goethe or Emerson here in Rome.

What I can only imagine considers his self to especially be a man, walked by smoking, a cigar, a woman at his side. I can’t imagine kissing such a mouth and breath!

The photos I took inside Saint Peter’s basilica are so good they are like acts.